君子慕逸

我醉欲眠卿且去,明朝有意抱琴来。

梗源reddit,我所做的仅仅是复制粘贴

学校的网络很慢,在等待文件传输的过程中,朋友们决定轮流讲吓人的故事

Combeferre:They drilled two holes into my concrete tomb: one right above my mouth to prevent suffocation and another near my arm so my body could be kept alive through IV feeding. I couldn't die even if I wanted to.
Others:AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
公白飞:他们在我的混凝土坟墓上钻了两个洞:一个在嘴部的上方让我不至于窒息,另一个在我手臂处来输液维持我的生命。我无法死亡,即使我想要如此。
其他人:啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

(“再来一个!”英勇无畏的朋友们说,于是公白飞又讲了一个)
Combeferre:"I don't know who you are," the gravedigger called back hoarsely, "and I don't know what you are, either, but I don't care: you ain't comin' back up, because your gravestone says you died in 1849."
公白飞:“我不知道你是谁,”掘墓人嘶哑着嗓音说,“我也不知道你是谁,但是我不在乎:你不能出来,因为你的墓碑上说你已经在1849年就已经死了。”

(“解剖学对你造成的影响确实深远。”古费拉克感慨道。)

Courfeyrac:And when he woke up in the morning, she was still there!!
Courfeyrac:AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
古费拉克:他在早上醒来,而她仍然在那儿!
古费拉克:啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!
(指的是419之后女方还没有离开的尴尬场面)

Jehan: Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today...
I wish, I wish he’d go away.
(热安的诗我就不翻译啦)

Feuilly:He woke up in a coffin, buried alive. As he started to panic, he heard a voice say, “Shhhhhh…”
Courfeyrac: "I'M TRYING TO GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP HERE!"
Jehan:"DAMN YOU! IT'S 4 AM FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
Courfeyrac(sad face):Happens in our dormitory every night.
弗以伊:他在棺木中醒来,发现自己被活埋了。正当他开始恐慌的时候,他听到一个声音说:“嘘……”
古费拉克:“我正试图入眠好吗!”
热安:“该死的现在才凌晨四点!”
古费拉克(悲伤脸):这样的对话在我们的宿舍中每晚都要来一遍

Bossuet: I just took a shit at my girlfriend's house and flushed the toilet. The water level is rising.
Others:AAAAAHHHHHHH!
博须埃:我在我女朋友家冲了厕所。水位逐渐上升。
其他人:啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!

Joly:I stepped through the door, and there it was.
Bossuet:Natural sunlight.
Grantaire:Scary to vampires.
若李:我走出房门,而它就在那里
博须埃:(那就是)阳光
格朗泰尔:超级吓吸血鬼

Bahorel:Shit. Everywhere.
Feuilly:Roomba ran over dog shit while you were work.
巴阿雷:屎。到处都是。
弗以伊:扫地机器人在你工作的时候驶过了你狗狗的粪便。

Marius:Suddenly it hit him...his foot was slightly off the edge of the bed.
马吕斯:他突然意识到…他的脚轻微地越过了床。
大家都感同身受地惨叫起来。马吕斯不好意思地解释了这背后的故事:我外祖父告诉我,剪刀男会趁你睡觉的时候把你越过床铺的任何部位剪掉(My grandfather told me that the Scissor Man snips off anything hanging off the edge of the bed as you sleep. )

Cosette:Don't look them in the eyes.
(唱出了声)

Éponine:"Care for some milk in your coffee?"As he closed the fridge she caught a glimpse of what looked like a face.
Others:AHHHHHHH
爱潘妮:“你想要在咖啡里加点牛奶吗?”当他关上冰箱时,她瞥见了一个很像是人脸的东西。
其他人:啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
(My favourite one in here so far. It's so great because she's not *sure* she saw the face, but now she's on edge. She's not going to want to drink anything he gives her now, but there's no way for her to check the fridge or get out without looking suspicious. She's got to do a some tap dancing to get out of there safely, without him realizing she knows something is wrong. High anxiety and tension all while trying to seem cool and collected. Terrifying. )

(现在就剩下安灼拉和格朗泰尔没有讲故事了。格朗泰尔表示自己总是跟随着领袖的步伐,于是大家开始起哄催促安灼拉讲故事,安灼拉无奈地写道)
Enjolras:As I write this, I know you are there. And I know he's right behind you.
Courfeyrac:I can imagine :Enj is WATCHING you!
Grantaire:No, no, no it's *scary*, not *sexy*
安灼拉:当我写下这个的时候,我知道你在那里。我也知道他正在你的背后。
古费拉克:我能想象的出来:安琪正在看着你!(big brother is watching you的梗)
格朗泰尔:不不不,我们要讲的是吓人的故事,不是性感的故事

Grantaire:Alone in bed. Blanket shifts.
Bossuet:...huge boner?
Joly:Not his?
Bossuet:Even better
Jehan:Somehow I'm assuming Enj has something to do with this.
Courfeyrac:Enj is FLUSHING
Courfeyrac:I DON'T EVEN KNOW HE CAN FLUSH!
Enjorlras:Shut up Courf
格朗泰尔:独自躺在床上。床单动了起来。
博须埃:…变硬的某部位?
若李:而那不是他的?
博须埃:这不更好吗?
热安:不知为何我假设安灼拉和这个故事有关。
古费拉克:安灼拉脸红了!
古费拉克:我都不知道安灼拉还会脸红!!!
安灼拉:闭嘴古费

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